Why have I chosen to focus upon helping people with stress?

Well, firstly, have you ever known someone who has never felt stressed in their life? No, me neither.

It's a common experience amongst us all. And, it's a good thing, because we need stress in our lives. Our brains and, in turn our bodies are hard wired to protect us, so when we experience danger, we automatically respond to it. (I can explain more about this in a later blog post if you’re interested?)

Hopefully, you can see why it's a good thing?

What are stress triggers?

Times have changed since we needed to run, or hide to stop ourselves being eaten by a predator.

Yet, our minds can still perceive danger, or a threat to us in other ways.

In today’s modern world of notifications pinging at you, they can be seen as a threat, a full inbox, rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think, breathe or relax. There are so many aspects of life that can be experienced as stressful, and it is viewed differently from person to person. What stresses me out and my stress levels will be different to yours.

The pressure to be doing something, be seen as being productive, or to be everything to everyone or maybe you feel as if you are the one doing everything. These are all are stressors. Sometimes the stressors are ones put on ourselves, sometimes they can come from demands being placed on you, such as deadlines, appointments, traffic and the people that want things now. We all know people like that don’t we?

Stress is different things to different people.

Workplace stress is the most common cause of stress “with 79% saying they frequently felt it” and 76% of employees reported “moderate-to-high or high levels of stress” (Pindar, J, 2003)

Ideally, we all need to work to earn money, but yet it’s so stressful for so many people. Including me, if you want to read my story, read on to My experience of recent stress (below)

Following on from workplace stress..

A previous colleague of mine was always on the go. I felt the stress from him. He had two jobs, often working until late at night and being the taxi dad that dads often are. He never really had a moment to himself. Emails at our share job wound him up often and he would swear at the littlest irritation.

How do I know if stress is impacting me?

Stress can impact so many parts of day-to-day life, as well as it being caused by so many parts. If you’re stressed, you can get snappy or irritable with the people close to you. It could be your partner or kids perhaps. Potentially you snap at a work colleague or your boss.

Maybe you get brain fog or you can’t concentrate which lowers your productivity at work or means you can’t help your kids with their homework.

It can also show up in your body, as tension, aches and pains or stomach upsets.

You can probably imagine some of the consequences of the scenarios I’ve mentioned. You may have some of your own to add to these. These are only a few examples that I’ve listed but I could go on.

My experience of recent stress

I have a full-time job as well as my counselling one, and it is one that I have always found to be overwhelming when working alone. I was part of a smaller team of two within a larger team and whenever it was just me, due to holidays, or other absences, I felt stressed. When it went back to the two of us again, it was fine, but always too much for one person alone. It’s the reason I was hired. For a day or two at a time, it was manageable but if it was just me for a week or more, then I became overwhelmed with it all, with the pressure to get it all done and to keep up with expectations of what was 'normal' within our small department.

Despite moving non-urgent work aside where I couldn’t see it and working in date order of what needed to be done first, it was just never enough. As soon as I got a ping on Teams or a phone call, I lost concentration and spent ages trying to work out where I was, what I was working on to come back to. A ping and a call at the same time whilst I was working on something would send me into panic mode; what do I deal with first? will I be able to remember what I was working on to come back to later? Just too many things at once would send my mind spinning.

Despite asking for help, the occasional help I got, didn’t make things any easier for me. Sometimes resulting in more work.

In previous roles I had been stressed in, I had gone off sick, or been signed off with stress by the doctor, yet in this role I kept going. How? I have no idea. Why? Because even though I got myself worked up, upset and sometimes made myself ill, I also knew I was very good at the job and the impact that was having upon many people. And so, I kept going.

I was making a difference to people, yet at what cost to me? I was exhausted once I finished for the day, I was still thinking about work after I logged off, I’d lay awake thinking about it at night and I was eating rubbish and hardly exercising.

It was this stage when I realised something really HAD to change.

Pindar, J, (2023), Stress Statistics UK | 2023 Data | Champion Health